thinkers

When There's Wind There's a cloud

2011-12-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

I wish I could Lay there,Amidst the spring and turbulent Winds,
I wish I could Play the anthem's song of my heart with ease ,
I wish I could Secretly bawling and shed some tears under that shady tree,
I wish I could just stay and stare upwards,marvels the beauty of it,
Because when there's wind there's cloud
Credits To :

The( Unforgivable?) Sin.

2011-09-04T02:40:00.012+08:00

Dear Readers,

It has been quite some time I didnt open this blog to all of you.Some people might thinkin' this is a defensive action or a Coward ways to forgo a sin you've committed or being in denial of what you are doing is wrong regardless of any.

However,It was indeed because of I've been ashamed of myself.I've tried to take some time and to reflex upon what I had done. An irresponsible jerk of course.True enough I've always love English,for me English is a means of expressing what I wanted for people out there to know about me.That whenever I see some grammatical mistakes on others' essays,Fb's status,I would definitely corrected it back without realizing my shortcomings too.And It didn't cease the 'sinister' motive to flaunt the skills I've had with the language.Often times.I've neglected that nobody's perfect and English is not a matter of flaunting and showing off instead it is a sacred Long-life education,no one could be good with the language all the time.

Never occurred to me that when in writing you should protect the honesty and validity of the materials of you had written up for the public.The public shouldn't be fooled with what you had written before.In this case,yeah,I did not uphold those moral values. The very values that had rooted from my upbringings and forth.

Yes,this is a true-story I've meaning to write: This is my confession

Like what I've told you beforehand I like to write and this is why this blog comes up.I've never been a good writer since ever I think but I do have some advantages on how to structure,organize my words to become a post like this.

moving on,
That post was dated on 18 June called 'Growth is something that you cannot stop' is (here comes the ****** part) NOT ENTIRELY AND COMPLETELY MY ORIGINAL/IDEAS.It was someone's Else's to begin with.Yep,I had STOLE AND PLAGIARIZED And took its' CREDITS from the RIGHTFULLY OWNER.
One day,I was browsing the internet to find something to write.And a good and worthy post definitely then I came across this very blog.Not long after I've read some of it.I was tempted to take this article as mine and that desires consumed me fast.I've decided that as long as the title is changed no one will know that it is actually not mine.I didn't know why but this post really captivated me the most.

The Irony part of this 'imperfect crime' is that I've forgot to delete my comment and URL completely from his blog.At first I would like to leave a comment saying that he is good and everything but the thought gone immediately. so when he comes back to check on his blog the URL I've left is directed to one of my closed friend blog and from which she recognized the similarity between the post.In fact,to show more on my stupidity I didn't even change a word or rephrased anything from the original one.Haha.Didn't see that coming too.
so that was pretty much of it,I've learnt my lesson that the next time around I would not simply put anyone's ideas without given the rightfully credits to them. Fyi,I do learn the APA format system in doing references for my assignments,and It was embarassment on my part for being nonchalant/ignorant about this important thing.Never in million times will I repeat this.Insyallah.

But,please,please reassured that those posts before are originally coming from me!.It was sad for me to delete those as some claiming It was entirely plagiarized,but I've at least need to show some effort on my integrity right,so I am doing the best to repent myself by deleting most of the post but except for these 3,4 post.It held too much memories for me.

you guys can go to this link for the 'evident': http://fikku-fiq.blogspot.com/2011/05/boy-and-tree.html

He is such a talented and creative writer .If you like you could follow him too.I love his writing and Ideas to the max.
Hereby,I will try my best to write a good post as many as I can onwards.No more cheating. and I am sincerely sorry and disappointed with myself and lying to you especially. and it takes a helluva courage to write and post this. I will constantly improved myself with the language.Obviously I am not good enough.In addition being a Sagittarius,Ones is so craved for praises and attentions (More to a curse,I daresay) and I felt most flattered/embarrassed reading those comments in the chat-box.Much appreciated. Besides I am most open to any sorts of constructive criticsm too.DOnt be afraid to voice up your opinions whatsoever.

Once more,I AM TERRIBLY SORRY :( and On behalf of my family and I would like to wish you guys a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf zahir dan Batin(with full intentions too)

'Why did you have to copy someone's post and not even credit them.. that's low'
P/s: To that one special friend (You know who you are) Thank you for 'confronting' me about this.If not
I wont even think that what I've done is wrong.
I couldn't be grateful enough. :) and thank you for still have faith in me

untuk awak,bakal girlfriend saya

2010-11-15T15:07:00.003+08:00

hello

have you ever seen me?

do you know how i look like?

well, let me tell you something about what you might discover when you see me or by fate when we meet.

the moment you set your eyes upon my face, you will see a rather nice looking (not hot nor stylish) boy, with a pleasant personality (you wouldn't hate me right away, it may take at least an exchange of two sentences for that to happen). just your average joe.

you may listen to me talk, in circles, or in repetition and about the absolute random things you can ever imagine existed under the sun. and you begin to wonder for how long more you have to nod and act interested at the absurd things i will tell you. and you will decide to spare me and give me ten more minutes to make sense.

and after that ten minutes, you will start to like me. you will begin to notice the endearing smile i have, the twinkle in my eyes when i start talking about something i like or the sudden loud laugh i let out that may be shocking to surprised passers-by.

and you become interested in me. your interest grow relatively to the time you spend with me, or in the moments we spend interacting. you will ask me questions about me, about my life, about my likes and peeves. and you let me ask you questions about you. and since i am naturally a curious and inquisitive person, i will ask you about many things, and you will slowly open up to me.

you will begin to crawl out of the shadows of the past, your true self will crack itself out of the shell. the walls you build against the society will crumble, and ice will melt. you will finally let me in to your life.

you will then make every effort to ensure that you are in mine too, but most often than not, you will find yourself in disappointment. but there are rare moments when you find yourself allowed into this life that you find unexpectedly mysterious. and you will try to understand it. and you will conclude that it is like math - where there is a formula to it, but the answers may vary.

and i must warn you, when you finally managed to understand more than you really should, you will find that i am a complex and frustrating person. you will begin to feel a certain level of regret, and the feel to turn back, but you can't. because you have fallen for me, and you want to finish this adventure you start for yourself. and also because of your ego to retain your first impression of me that i am simple.

the sparks are still there, but, it is now not sparks of attraction. it is the sparks of fire. there will be a need to exaggerate minor misdemeanor, to pinpoint every error, and each will wait for the other to make a mistake.

and soon enough, i will make that mistake you have been waiting for. and you will begin your series of attacking, laying down every single mistake that i had done that you 'closed one eye' to before, executing every strategies of breaking me and bringing me down that you've envisioned for so long.

and i will become defensive, i will build a wall, and i will throw bricks at you to protect myself. when you have no good comeback, you will use whatever you know about me. you will bring back everything from any parts of the timeline. you will use who i am, who i was, what i had done, what i am not, who i was with, what i had said, what secrets i told you, what things i should and shouldn't do, who and what you wish i am, what you hope i would become for you and everything else. even as little a thing as how you think how disheveled and messy my hair is.

and somehow, somewhere in your mind, you will finally conclude that i am useless, and a hypocrite.

and here is the time when i assure you that yes, i am in fact a hypocrite. and i will give you examples after examples. like how i do not practice what i preach. i talk about saving the environment, but i leave empty cans under the seat and i only print on one side of the paper. i turn mad when people are racist, when in fact, i am ultra to my own race. i promote peace, cried when people from other parts of the world suffer from war, when my own country is fighting its own battle. i vowed to help the homeless and the needy, but i wasn't even there for my family when they needed me. i want to fight poverty in third-world countries, but my meals are always unfinished and leftovers are aplenty that goes in the bin.

i encourage friends and everyone to be in love, talking about how it's the best thing in the world, when in reality i know nothing about it, maybe have never really felt it, and secretly at times don't believe in the truth of it. all my knowledge of it is solely based on stories i've heard from other people, the movies i watched, the songs i heard,not to mention the books i've read and my assumptions and visions of it.

yes, i am a hypocrite but i am not a liar. i meant what i said, and i meant what i told you about what i felt. i did not lie about my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts, my dreams of you. the smiles and tears for you were honest; it came from the most bottom part of my heart that i didn't even know existed.

and so most often than not, things will become awkward. sometimes, things will just be left hanging. but all the time, all the freaking time, people will leave. and you might leave too. but if you stay, well, you will be an exception. you will be the only one who choose to do so. and i will be grateful my whole life.

yes, as a conclusion, that is what you will get when you look at me - an honest hypocrite, who talks a lot but might not necessarily know what he's talking about, who you might fall in and out of love with.

and so, if you decide to leave in the end, i suggest you save both of our time; skip my face and lay your eyes on somebody else. you might have a different ending with him.

but if you somehow feel that you are one to stay, look me in the eyes, put on a helmet, and buckle up your safety belt. you've booked yourself the ride of a lifetime with me.

or else goodbye,

till we meet again

seven people i hate the most

2009-08-13T16:53:00.006+08:00

first

this person usually always tongued twisted my STATEMENT of truth.it seems that this person do have certain difficulty in hearing though.sometimes i would address the matter like this :

'yellow totally suits you the best(shirt),i do love to know where do you bought it?'

then it would go like this

"ugly shirt,you do know it right??anyhow,i do want it one"

see,how this person looked at others thoughts. like they know exactly what I'm trying to say,nevertheless,they still spread the untrue story.

two

sometimes we do expected that our joke would be simply a joke and that's all.but then,this people always try to take it too serious.overly offended with the joke.ironically i said the same jokes all the same with others,they just simply accepted it as JOKES.sometimes i do enunciates the words of provocation without realising it bothers others.but in the end its only a joke man.

three

A hypocrite they say.this person.whom i should respects after my parents.shows the other side of her that i loathe the most.isn't it enough just talking bad stuff about others?yeah,personally i did to.its just a natural how human being are.however this person of all the people i looked upon to,without feeling guilty enough,would always do the same thing over and over.shame on you.( after all you are far more educated than i am)

four

somehow we always feel that we are right through all over thing as such decision making,social skill and personality.it lead to feel full of yourself.you never listen to other people ideas.you simply couldn't care less about what others said.you always feel that all the decision you made would simply went smoothly according to your plan.this person is actually the same.this person always be a judgemental towards other.reluctant to apologize for the mistake he did .he always likes to be in charge and loves to show his alpha-male-ego too much just as the way to show his greatness.i wonder why sometimes people would be so perasaan and poyo?

five

i know we boys,are always labelled with the connotation of bad tempered and power greedy.i have been live with this person for almost 17 years.he likes throwing tantrums to others.sometimes you do think he is so immature and so irrational.he even fussing around with just a simple thing.yeap.he also stinks.hahaha.everything must be prepared for him.he always talks stupidly and don't bother to spare feelings of others.yes!he also makes others cry,you know.

six

if you do know the word of 'attention-seeker'. then i bet this would be enough.yes.this person(2 people)work as a pair.they always been with each other.they were like sisters.they annoyed almost everyone around me.they always do an 'extra-mile' for everything,if you know what im saying.prudent to say they always the one that do things over the radar.sometimes funny this two people could be.not to mention,they are not pretty but act like one. ;p

seven

this one is a positive-hatred(does this exist?)hahha.this person is a good student among others in my year.i do envy him as he always get a good distinctions almost in every subject.whenever i asked him how he managed to do it.he simply said 'haiyah,i don't study much la'.it pissed me of.how come you can managed to get so many A's without really putting an effort on it.i know that 8% of population of the human are genius.but then it must be from a hard work right??knowing that,I'm putting my fullest effort into it(its not that I'm too stupid) and still i cannot managed to score the same as he is.

haha..i can be bitchy sometimes.and I'm not an easy forgiver.I'm not simply a cold-blooded person but then its just that those people are messing with my life.that's that

PPSMI(political stuff)

2009-07-17T17:28:00.005+08:00

hello,there,all of you,sorry for not updating my blog(kemalasan menyerang)

it's back to BM,the teaching of English in science and mathematics,recently..it will rivert back to BM starting from 2012,
until the last cohort of those under the ppsmi(including my badge)
in my opinion I'm totally sad about this changes as i already settle in with English for 5 years since form 1,i felt that my proficiency in English is better(i mean i can speak in English and not to be proud,i am now a bilingual Malays-not exactly too hebat like some of my friends and need constantly improving myself..yeah,i will!!) considered that i came from the last class among others during my primary school but still i managed to adept with the system.i make a new friends from other races by using English as the medium

i found that learning in English for those two subjects is not too difficult,its easier to understand and fun too,nevertheless when come to some terminology that i cannot comprehend it by myself,i went for help and further explanation from my teacher.its not a positive attitude when you always feel that english is boring and tough etc,and set your mind to dislike the subject itself

just like any kind of language,the level of proficiency relies heavily on the formative years.if one's get the basics right then there is a bigger chance of attaining higher proficiency.getting one's basics wrong may not necessarily mean one cannot "recover",but there are plenty of indication to point that it would be a longer and harder but then eventually you will able to use,speak and write in english in daily dealings..i used to envy my friends back there,during my primary school years,that can read,speak and write well in english, at that time i couldnt spell the easiest english words..

am i a petualang bANGSA???(do not support the government's action switching back to bahasa).i dont think so..in order to compete globally,mastering english is not a luxury.it is a MUST!and it come to my mind what with those who take add maths,for example,would have to learn new jargon like Probability in english referred to it as keberangkalian.those who take up economics(form 6)would put up with terms like opportunity cost,which in bahasa is the humorous kos melepas..haha..

in conclusion,there are pros and cons of this system, i don't know what to predict but its up to our politician to set a new par in this issues.it takes a long time for us to actually see the results,for six years is too short a time....

p/s:anis ak mls nk upload gmbr2 primier 2.wait for my other post eh..

suspected and then......(part 2)

2009-05-08T00:05:00.001+08:00

tuesday(part 2)
8.45pm-12.45pm
1a.m-5.15 a.m

the transfussion began.its once again a painful process.i dont know.the moment the blood goes in.it pains me.it felt like burning.the dr said it just normal(hell its normal!!!)to be in that situation as the blood try to adapt with my body internal environment and so on.for the first transfussion,my lectin(the point that shows my dehydration level)still high and only drop slightly.so another transfussion took place.yeah for every pained(pacK)(pronounce:pain-ine) of the blood,it takes about 4 hours to finish.yup.. you can imagine it,laying there with pains all over your body for merely 8 hours ;p

wednesday
early in the morning around 8,abah came and the dr said my transfussion process went well but i maybe need another if my lectin still increasing.yeah my fever quite owkey.it drops to 38.5 .the routine still moving..as usuall my blood hv been taking every 4 hours.my hands especially my left side-bruises seems to appear..maybe terlalu bnyk cucuk.my appetite erm...not really into foood.every morsel of it,keeps getting me to puke,same goes with makanan hospital(lagilah,the milk smells like dung)hahaha...later,tha evening,my blood result came up..yayaya..my lectin drop and my plalet started to increase in the suitable ammount(not owkey yet but quite normal).dr said that tommorrow i'll able to be transfer to normal ward but according to the blood result tonight.my fever went down again 38.00.a good sign dr said(dia ckp je,nk sdpkan ati,pdhal dmm lagi)

thursday
the first thing that day "mustaain.ur blood result came up alright and ur plalet keep increasing,by 4 o'clock today u can be transfered to normal ward''.dr said.partial of the coversations.yeyeyeye..hahaha..im so happy.stuck at icu,it pretty much like freezer..haha i tell you..it so cold up there.so okla pindh normal ward but dr will monitoring my condition throughout this few days.

****So it went well until i was discharge by the dr and home rest till now.its was such a deadly experiences,(xnk msk hospital dah),to all of you out there,beware of dengue cause it is proved fatal and i one of few that managed to survive,thank god once again.ALLAHUAKHBAR!!

suspected and then.....

2009-05-04T23:22:00.001+08:00

it was excruciating one week at hospital selayang after i hv been suspected or in other words was 'contaminated' by dengue fever.thank god to alllah for im able to recover from the deadly viruses.

here lies my journey:

saturday
started to hv fever,very high fever.abah then took me to klinik dr dahlia dan keluarga for check up.after around 10 minutes i was dismissed and hv to be taken to hospital selayang as i suffered some symptoms of dengue.

sunday
i couldnt take it anymore.im shivering and constantly felt weak and my joint pains me like hell.then abah took me directly to emergency ward of hospital selayang.there,im totally doozed up(fainted)and the momment i opened my eyes ..jeng2 i already on the bed in ICU(intencive care unit)with wires(indicators to show my blood pressure,temperature and heart beat) covered my body and including iv drip(sangat sakit waktu itu)

monday
my treatment of dengue continued.with more iv drip been replaced through hours.and i also hv to urinate by the side of my bed using uriter,as im not allowed by the dr to move vigorously.my BP,HB and temperature kept increasing until around 40 degree celcius.the fever still not showing the sign to decrease in temperature.owh yeah through that duration my blood hv been taking by the piercing needles every 4 hours..

tuesday
my fever still at the high temperature but seems decreasing about 39.4 degree celcius.but my conditions are still worst.i can barely eat and gasping for breath.by 6 o'clock,the dr seek abah and ask his permission to do transfussion of blood as the only treatment there to be try as my condition are worst than yesterday.the fever is categorised as dengue fever phase 4(if the transfussion failed,the viruses will attack my main internal organs)

###to be continue******